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The Secret To Healing Your Marriage After An Affair, by Mark Smith LCSW
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The Pain Of An affair Is Beyond Overwhelming
“Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful.”
~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
Nothing has ever hurt nearly as badly as this! It’s like a nightmare you feel like you’ll never wake up from. This person--this person who you thought you knew, who you thought you could trust, who you thought loved you like no other, has now betrayed you in the most humiliating and horrific way possible. The shock hasn’t even begun to wear off. You’ve cried rivers of tears, and they aren’t letting up in the least. At times you’d literally like to kill him; at times you’d like to cling to him; and at times you’d actually like to make love to him like a wild animal--it’s so confusing. You’ve noticed huge mats of hair in your drain. You are so stressed out that you’re actually losing your hair. You feel broken and lacking in energy. You feel unattractive and thrown away. The word “rejected” doesn’t come close to describe what you’re feeling. You feel shattered and completely abandoned.
I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. You’re going to survive, though. I’m here to help you. The concepts in this book can benefit you
tremendously as you take them in. I’ll be sharing some things that will
help you make sense of it all--I’ve walked hundreds of people through
similar situations. The main things you’ll need are a hungry, flexible,
and open mind and heart.
I’ll share some things that might sound crazy when you first hear
them. They’re concepts that will blow your mind and very possibly save
your life! Make a commitment to hear me out. What I share with you
may very well make you extremely angry at first reading--just keep reading and keep thinking. I’ll make an overwhelmingly compelling case for the secret that I’ll share with you.
Just know that you WILL get through this. I promise that everything that’s happened will make much more sense to you very soon. Everything
that’s happened in your life has a reason, and it all makes sense. I’ll
prove this to you.
Having gone through this will make you a much stronger, wiser, and
better person. Everything happens for a reason, and I’m not just trying
to give you a patronizing pat on the head. If your life were like a thousand-word jigsaw puzzle, someone just knocked your puzzle over. You thought you had things figured out in your life--until this happened. I’ll help you put your puzzle pieces together again.
What you didn’t know was that you were actually assembling your puzzle incorrectly, anyway. You had some fundamental misperceptions. We’ll figure this out together, and I’ll help you reassemble your puzzle.
- Sales Rank: #1013104 in eBooks
- Published on: 2014-02-20
- Released on: 2014-02-20
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Had an affair? Get this book now!
By Jerry T. Wise
Divorce is caused by us putting the puzzel pieces together the wrong way. Boy is that the truth. Mark Smith helps post affair couples recover by going back to their childhood and bringing them up to the present to see how the drama has played out and how the puzzel pieces were put together in a way to have an affair happen. He says to 'seek to learn all you can from the experience [of the divorce]'. I like the stress on interdependence as the goal for a healthy relationship. This is a great book for navigating marital problems. The author shouts "you married them for a reason" and "the universe wants to heal our wounds"! Reading this no-nonsense hard-hitting approach to taking responsibility for your own life and for your own marriage. "The Secret to Healing Your Marriage After An Affair" is filled with wisdom, humor, fun, drama, pain, and hope. This books takes a 'therapeutic' approach and model for marriage--"we married the right person"---TO DEAL WITH and heal OUR OWN ISSUES. Marriage is for healing childhood wounds. This approach is taken by Imago therapists, Bowen Family systems therapists and others. A great approach to healing and making real changes that last. Mark Smith shares very personal stories from his own life and from the lives of those he has helped. My favorite line in the book is--"Anyone who has ever been in a relationship has been in therapy even if they have never darkened the door of a therapist's office". And I liked the warning when a spouse or partner starts talking about unmet needs--"Treat [those] words about unmet needs like an emergency siren." The author believes we are like and imprinted by our family-of-origin, this insight can be useful to getting unstuck in marriages and moving beyond a divorce. Great tips in the book.
0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
This is a tough subject!
By Jennifer Millar
Thanks for this book ... affairs are one of the worst forms of betrayal and they cause so much destruction. Affairs are taken so personally by the one that has been cheated on and triggers so many issues, however, affairs are only a symptom of the bigger problem inside the one doing the cheating. We all have our ways of self-sabotage, and having an affair is just another (larger) way to push the person you love away because you don't feel good enough or because shame has infested the marriage. You get to the source of the problem (which is usually not the affair) and fix something much deeper in order for couples to not only heal from the destruction an affair can cause, but also heal the inner soul that caused that action in the first place.
Great information!!!
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Two Stars
By Trish
Not everything has to do with the parents.
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